Remove Chance from Dating, Put Compatibility First
Friday, 13 May 2011
Every relationship has to start somewhere. You could meet your prospective partner in a bar, at a sporting event or in the frozen foods section of the local supermarket. You may have grown up together or just got the same bus to work every day. But in the fast paced world that we live in, more people are using technology to find their perfect match. The growth and popularity of dating websites UK wide is not just down to single individuals wanting a relationship, but also due to the scientific formulae being used that make compatibility the prime aspect.
Compatibility is essential for a relationship to be successful. While online dating services can find you a partner to have a meal with, a relationship site such as eHarmony goes beyond the rhetoric of asking what your favourite colour is or who you would like to be stranded on a desert island with. Instead, they concentrate on using algorithms and psychometrics to determine the likelihood of compatibility.
Relationship sites aim to dispense with the random nature of selecting a possible partner by scrolling through hundreds of profiles and photos. Instead they ask questions that guide the individual to a compatible match and use a questionnaire that concentrates on key areas such as character, belief and values.
For people who are looking to build healthy and long-lasting relationships, the science behind the questions is important in determining not only your profile but in assessing the sort of partner that you will be most likely to gel with on a personal level.
There are hundreds of websites dedicated to giving relationship advice for men and women, from telling you what to wear on a first date to tips on conversation and the correct way to behave. But these sites are dealing with known variables, information gathered from thousands of individuals after the first meeting and basing the success or failure of the date on where the relationship went next.
The personality test developed by eHarmony uses a sliding scale of interest in an aspect of character or popular social activity and further analysis highlights the correlation between answers. Developed by a team of individuals that have been trained in social or clinical psychology, their experience in the study of human behaviour is essential in matching the right people together.
Over the course of 258 questions covering everything from how submissive or aggressive you are, how important smoking and drinking are to you or a prospective partner and your preferred choice of leisure time, the personality profile is created to ensure that matches can be as compatible as possible. Like most relationship sites, a photograph isn't required to complete the picture, but the aim is to weed out those looking for a casual encounter and to concentrate on the people looking for a serious relationship.
While it may appear that romance has been reduced to nothing more than a scientific system, this guided communication does have the benefit of eliminating the element of doubt for the relationship seeker. It also allows the individual a degree of curiosity in seeing who they would be paired with and reveals the beliefs and values that are important to you.
Of equal importance is that the process of determining what levels of social behaviour or character defects are acceptable within a relationship. The creation of a profile is not something that can be done in just five minutes and as more people are spending the time to perfect their personal brand through social networking sites like Facebook, it seems to be logical that a relationship site should make sure that those who subscribe to the service are likely to be attractive to the proposed matches.
Dr Gian Gonzaga, a relationship expert for eHarmony, believes the personality test is hugely important and says that the company is the "first commercial lab dedicated strictly to understanding human relationships and how we can make them better."
Healthy, lasting relationships need to have common interests and happy couples are those whose chemistry doesn't rely on material goods or expensive presents. Relationships can be founded on chance meetings but compatibility isn't something that can be worked on, and that initial spark of attraction is what decides the direction of the relationship.
If the science of psychometrics can be applied to the search for romance, then it is possible that more people will find their ideal partner without fear of disappointment on the first date.
After all, we all want to live happily ever after.
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